«The Cricket Beasts» by Thejendra Sreenivas

‘Hey, are you bored with your dull and monotonous life? Do you waste all your spare time reading dull books like Shakespeare and Charles Dickens? Is your life too tame and domesticated? Do you want to inject some excitement and exuberance into it? Do you want to improve your lung power and be able to yell and shriek at hundred decibels for hours and hours? Do you want to get lots of friends of all ages, religions and races who think and act alike? Do you want to extract the maximum out of your gigantic high definition TV? Do you want to be at the edge of your living room couch shivering in nail biting suspense and anticipation? Do you…’

‘Yes! Yes! Quick, tell me what I need to do.’

‘Simple. Just become a real cricket fan and you will achieve all that I just said.’

‘What? Don’t be silly! How will that help? I am already a cricket fan in case you didn’t know.’

‘Hah! Are you? Don’t make me laugh! You are like a lamb, an insult to all real cricket fans.’

‘Hey, what do you mean by insult to all fans?’

‘Cool down! What I mean is you look and act too domesticated to be called a real cricket fan. You are still not that fire and brimstone material of cricket — The Ultimate Cricket Fan.’

‘Ultimate cricket fan? Who is that?’

‘An explosive beast that no one can tame.’