«Apocalypse Next Tuesday» by David Safier

Do you love him Marie?' 'Um… of course… I love Jesus' I stammered. “Great guy.' 'I'm talking about the man you intend to marry in my church…' 'Oh…' Cataclysmic events are nigh in Malente, Germany. Satan (a dead ringer for George Clooney) is on the prowl, recruiting horsemen for next week's Armageddon — and in a boring, provincial place like this, he's apparently spoiled for choice. One might hope that the Archangel Gabriel would be some help since he's in town, but he's too busy with a tantric sex marathon to deliver anyone from evil. Meanwhile gentle, sandal-wearing carpenter Joshua encounters, by chance, washed-up thirtysomething singleton Marie. She's hit a career dead-end, and her dad's gone and shacked up with some sort of Eastern European nymphomaniac. So when handsome Joshua comes round to work on the roof, she realises she has nothing to lose by asking him out. But what of his divinely-appointed task? The Apocalypse is scheduled for Tuesday. Things are looking grim. Provocative and blasphemous, but with surprising meditations on the nature of faith, free will and human nature, Apocalypse Next Tuesday is a book full of surprises. Wonderfully light and witty, it will keep you laughing from the first page to the last.