Twilight of the Star Vampires (Set of Books 1-3):A Parody of the Twilight Saga, Star Wars and Star Trek

What happens when Twilight Saga vampire Edward Cullen meets Darth Vader meets Vulcan Spock? That question is answered in this parody of the Twilight Saga, Star Wars and Star Trek. Will Edward Cullen survive a fight with the evil Emperor of the Dark Side? Will vampire Vulcan Spock win over Princess Leia?

This is a New Adult Paranormal and Science Fiction Parody based on #1 Bestselling series

Excerpts:
Edward, Star Vampire:
One of the Trade Federation tanks targeted the Queen’s group, and moved towards them.

“There’s the Queen, get her,” snapped the Trade Federation tank commander.

“Run, your highness,” said the Nabiscko General Panache seeing the tank veering towards them.

Queen Alldolla tried to pick up her heavy velvet skirts and run. The tank sped up and gave chase. In moments it was almost upon the Queen’s entourage. The general and advisors scattered. The Queen tripped on her skirt.

The tank bore down on her. It was only a few feet away.

“Stop! You could hit the Nabiscko Queen. We are ordered to capture, not kill,” said the tank commander to the driver.

“Sorry commander,” said the driver. “We can’t stop quickly.”

“Get back!” yelled Edward. Just before the tank would have hit the Queen, Edward leaped in front of her. Shoving his arm out, he stopped the vehicle with one hand, crumpling in the tank’s side.

Alldolla gasped, staring in disbelief at Edward, and at the damage he had done to the metal side of the tank.

Excerpt: The Jetti Council and Manikin Stywalker

“You cannot fear and be a Jetti knight,” said Yodama. “Fear leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, suffering leads to founding a new religion, which leads to fame and fortune as a TV evangelist, which leads to embarrassment in the press as they reveal your naughty, secret sex life.”

“Sounds good to me,” said Manikin. “I’d like a naughty, secret sex life.”

“Hmmm. Come Jetti Council members,” said Yodama gesturing. The Jetti council huddled together to decide Manikin’s fate. After a few moments of hushed discussion, they came to the conclusion that they too would like a naughty, secret sex life and that Manikin fit right in.

“Train him, you will, Obegone,” said Yodama. “But if he turns out to be an evil Jetti, that makes a Death Star and wipes out a planet, we’ll blame you.”

Excerpt: Spocko, Vampire Vullcan of the Vulcanturi:

“Welcome Spocko to the Temple of Pure Logic,” said T’Pow. “Our ancestors cast out their animal passions on this very soil.”

Spocko looked down, and imagined an orgy of writhing, naked, Vullcan bodies.
“No, no, I mean gave up passionate emotions,” said T’Pow shaking her head. Her telepathy evidently was working well and she was reading Spocko’s mind. “The men always make that mistake.” T’Pow eyed Spocko evilly as one last image of a Vullcan orgy crossed his mind. “No I don’t look like that naked,” said T’Pow, “and I’m not that flexible.”

The Vullcan priests smirked, and then quickly changed to an emotionless expression as T’Pow glared at them.

“By casting out emotions, they saved our race from ourselves,” continued T’Pow. “They attained the ultimate of pure logic and the ecstasy of pure logic. Spocko, you have achieved much over the years and proven yourself exceptional. You have cleansed yourself of dirty emotions. You have proven yourself worthy to join us. Come. Receive the symbolic necklace of Pure Logic.”

Excerpt: Vampires Anonymous:

“We’re here for you,” said William. “Let’s close the Vampire Anonymous meeting, then meet at the spaceport to plan our strategy to find your daughter. Please, everyone stand and say the serenity prayer.”

The circle of vampires stood and held hands. They chanted together.
“Universe, grant me the serenity to not bite somebody’s head off, even if they deserve it, except to protect ourselves and others from harm, and the wisdom to know the difference.”