Some Guy Reviews: The Chevy Cruze

The Chevy Cruze is GM’s attempt to make up for the Cobalt and the Cavalier, which were rolling crimes against cardom. It is a great small car but is it the best? I answer this question from the view point of an average guy, thus the “Some Guy” moniker.
So why read a car review from “some guy”? Because I am just that, some guy. I am not a track rat who cares only about 0-60 times or a professional car reviewer who gets loaded with swag by the car manufacturers (though I could use it, hint, hint car companies).
I am going to review the Chevy Cruze from the point of view of someone who needs a compact car, to get to work, to transport family members, to get to appointments, and would like to not hate the car he drives. I am not judging the Chevy Cruze the same way I would just a 3-series or a GTI. I am also going to review the car with stupid pop culture references instead of esoteric automative terms (I also promise that is the only time I will use the word “esoteric” (besides that last one too I guess)).
I still watch cartoons, and not just Family Guy. I think that Weezer is just okay now (admit it, you listened to Raditude once and then forgot about it) , I think the Avatar movie was a bit preachy, and I do not watch reality TV. So if you think all these things are great qualities in a car reviewer, then buy the book; if not, still buy it, I might convince you otherwise.