The Five Greatest Warriors by Matthew Reilly (Audiobook)

When we last saw Jack West Jr., our hero was in quite a pickle, having not yet found all six of the sacred diamond pillars that, when ritually cleansed and placed in far-flung secret vertices, might avert apocalypse. West; his peregrine falcon, Horus; his adopted daughter, Lily; and the rest of his colorful band take off in their trusty 747, Halicarnassus, in a perpetually last-minute race to the finish against such baddies as Colonel Mao, Vulture, Scimitar, the iron-jawed Carnivore, and West’s own dark father, Wolf. Reilly leaves no cliff unhung, no tomb unraided, no moustache untwirled, and almost no bit of arcane hokum unused, including the Templars, the Romanovs, Napoleon, Genghis Khan, and Jesus Christ himself. Reilly outstrips, outpaces, and outlandishes such adventure-smiths as Dan Brown, Steve Berry, James Rollins, and Clive Cussler, writing with the inexhaustible invention of a hyperactive 10-year-old with a fresh box of crayons, drawing exotic battle scenes accompanied by real-time narration and sound effects. (Oddly, gratuitous profanity mars the book’s potential as a whistle-clean pulp novel for boys.) Many readers will find this book and its two predecessors hopelessly campy, but for those ready to play along, they’re a giddy delight.