«The Eejits» by Roald Dahl

Mr Eejit wis AN EEJITHE WIS BOARN AN EEJITAND NOO AT THEGRAUND AULD AGE O SIXTY,HE WIS ABIGGEREEJIT THAN EVER.
In The Twits, Roald Dahl’s story about the world’s most revolting couple, Mr Twit was horrible and hairy and his wife Mrs Twit was just plain ugly. Now they are honkin, maukit, bowfin and clarty and Mrs Eejit’s hackitness is revealed in all its manky glory. Read Matthew Fitt’s much loved translation of this children’s classic to find out what sleekit terrible things the Eejits do to each other.