HOW TO INFLUENCE PEOPLE AND REMAIN REAL

Modern man is a manipulator, whoever he is - whether a car salesman, persuading us to make a purchase; whether the father of a fifteen-year-old son, confident that he, and only he, knows what kind of career a son should make; Whether a teenager processing adults for $ 200 hours, or a husband who hides his salary from his wife … The manipulators are a legion. In each of us there is a manipulator who endlessly uses all sorts of false tricks in order to achieve this or that benefit for himself.Of course, not all manipulation is evil. Some manipulative steps are necessary for a person in his struggle for existence. But most of our manipulations have a very detrimental effect both on the lives of the manipulators themselves and on the lives of their loved ones. Manipulations are harmful because they mask the illness of a particular human person.The tragedy of our life is that modern man, as a result of his endless manipulation, has lost every opportunity to express himself directly and creatively and has reduced himself to the level of a preoccupied automaton, which spends all its time trying to hold onto the past and insure the future. Yes, he often talks about his feelings, but rarely experiences them. He loves to talk about his worries, but he cannot honestly turn to face them and try to get rid of them.Modern man groping his way through life, using a whole arsenal of blind masks and evasive statements, has no idea how rich and colorful the real world is. Since every person is to some extent a manipulator, modern humanistic psychology suggests that out of all manipulations we can develop a positivepotential, which the AbrahamMaslowandKurt Goldsteinare called "Self-actualization".An actualizer is the opposite of a manipulator. There are no actualizers in their pure form, but the more natural a person is, the more sincere his feelings are, the closer he is to the ideal.Each of us is partly a manipulator, partly an actualizer. That is, in each of us there is a kind of sincere beginning that allows us to believe our feelings, know our needs and preferences, rejoice at a real enemy, offer, when needed, the necessary help and not be afraid to show our aggression.But there is also a manipulative principle in us, which makes us hide and camouflage our feelings. The range of behaviors of the average person is enormous, from arrogant hostility to obsequious flattery. All this, replacement, takes a lot of energy - just as much as the most lost manipulator will need in order to “transform” into an actualizer, that is, breathe life into a full-blown breast and become a full-blooded person. How to do it? This is exactly what my book is about.I dreamed of writing it for a long time and finally got ready for this work after reading the article by Erich Fromm “Man is not a thing” in the “Sataday Review” of March 16, 1957, where Fromm warns that with today's focus of modern society on the market, consumer knowledge and manipulation it becomes the paramount task of the moment. Market manipulation, Fromm wrote, logically follows the desire to manipulate its employees. This second most important field of psychology is called "human relations", from which there is only one step to the psychology of leaders, when you have to manipulate everyone, as in politics.This book should help you see the manipulation in your own life and learn how to deal with it. If you learn to describe yourself accurately, if you can become a doctor-psychotherapist for yourself, if you can accurately diagnose yourself and your loved ones, we won, and I congratulate you and myself. Yes, I want to give you some guidance based on my many years of psychotherapy experience. But the main thing in the business of curing depression, neurosis, psychosis, which most people suffer, is in your hands.Surely you will recognize yourself, your family and friends on the pages of this book. Don't laugh or be sad.