Attached: Tips To Understand Your Relationship And Find Your Emotional Stability

The relationships we had as children with our parents, or other primary caregivers have a profound effect on the way we react to situations in our lives, and the way we interact with the people around us.

As young children, we respond instinctively to the kind of love and support offered to us by our parents or careers. While a strong bond to our primary caregiver is critical for our development in these early years, difficulties arising from this attachment can lead to problems with relationships and self-image in later life.

Extensive scientific research has proven that everyone has a certain “love style” or manner of behaviour within relationships, based on their experiences as a young child. For example, children who grow up with strict, disciplinary parents often learn early to bury their emotions out of fear of being reprimanded. This trait often continues long into adulthood, with such people finding it hard to share their feelings and connect with others. Those who grow up with unpredictable or inconsistent parenting with often seek attention through raising their voice or expressing anger and frustration in other ways. Their self-image is, as a result, less than positive. Conversely, children who grow up feeling a secure and loving attachment to their primary caregiver usually become trusting adults with a positive self-image.

Of course, these behaviours are often unconscious and instinctive, making them difficult to recognize. These unidentified behaviours can cause us to have problems as adults when it comes to making friends, finding love and developing meaningful relationships.

Think back to the environment you grew up in. Was your relationship with your parents or caregivers a healthy and secure one, or did you recognize a little of yourself in any of the above situations? Perhaps you have never thought to examine the way your upbringing is affecting you today.

But if you have identified with any of these issues, all is not lost. The patterns and beliefs we develop as children, though often deeply ingrained in our psyche, can be unlearned and replaced with more helpful beliefs and approaches to life.

In this book, you will discover the specific ways in which our childhood attachment experiences shape and affect our adult experience, along with proven methods for reducing their effect and eliminating your own troublesome behaviour in many areas of your life.

Are you unable to maintain a successful romantic relationship? Do you see the same patterns emerging in your relationships with partner after partner? Perhaps you have questioned what you are doing wrong, or why you always seem to attract the same kind of person, who will treat you in the same negative way. Or maybe you are aware that you yourself are the problem. Perhaps you have found yourself repeatedly sabotaging your relationships and turning people away. Do you see the same behaviour in yourself again and again, but are unable to make changes? If this sounds like you, it may be time to examine this behaviour and the way your romantic relationships are affected by your childhood experiences of attachment.

In order to do this, we will examine the four attachment styles of love, and the way attachment affects your ability to interact with your significant other. Understand your love style and conversely, the way you love, will assist you in recognizing – and putting an end to – any destructive behaviour. By identifying your instinctive behaviour, you will be able to anticipate your reaction to specific situations and alter your behaviour accordingly. Understanding your love style will help you form the healthy and fulfilling romantic relationship you have been waiting for.